34
As a Catholic, I believe that I can offer up my sufferings. Whether it be a small or large sacrifice, associating my pain with the suffering of Christ on the cross is somehow comforting. I think leaving for this trip to Austria is the dark night of my soul. I have never tried to pray so hard and so often, yet felt so far away from God. I feel that every move I make is hurting others and causing them sorrow. I feel guilty when I cry over something that is going to be such a blessing to experience, because that's just silly. When I started this blog, I wasn't sure what to name it. I wanted something that was meaningful to me, while still being interesting and unique. In The Ballad of the White Horse, by G.K. Chesterton, there is a verse that reads as follows: "The men of the East may spell the stars, And times and triumphs mark, But the men signed of the cross of Christ Go gaily in the dark." By the faith I profess, I have received the grace to "go gaily in the dark." Where there is no assurance of happiness, ease or comfort, I must keep smiling and striving to be a woman of God. So here I go. I put one foot in front of the other, walking down the winding, narrow road. Going gaily in the dark.