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I've been feeling immensely overwhelmed. I keep trying to give and give to everyone, and I feel like I'm stretched almost to a breaking point. I complain too much. For some reason, I think this summer is a crucial time in my life. I'm not sure what all my decisions will be yet, but I think they might be life changing. Or at least defining my path in life. I guess technically, every decision shapes your path, but being 21 now, and so very wise and old...I feel like I have to grow up. I get frustrated with myself if I can't make a decision or don't know what to do. Sometimes I'm scared of people, new experiences and change. I'm worried about how I am perceived. I've been forgetting one thing; trust. I don't have complete control over the future, and I struggle with that every single day. I think God looks at me every day and chuckles to himself saying, "My dear little one, why do you worry? I love you so very much. I won't ever leave you." But I'm a stubborn woman. If you tell me to do something, I'll most likely do the opposite. And I've heard that I'm the most confusing woman alive. I think that someday soon, God will (literally) have to hit me in the side of the head with a 2 x 4 because I simply am too stubborn and impatient to listen to Him. But, being God (awesome and such), He keeps giving me little reminders about things. I was completely overwhelmed when reading Psalm 136 the other day because it just kept repeating "God's love endures forever....God's love endures forever." I am loved despite my faults and shortcomings. I am loved despite my overanalyzing life. I am loved as a unique person. I am passionate. I have love to give. I want to do something great. What is there to be frustrated about?
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