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Among my many flaws resides pride. I usually struggle with a mixture of pride and vanity, but pride seems to often "goeth" before my falls. I just looked up the meaning of pride. "A high or inordinate opinion of one's dignity," was the very first description of the word. Now the pride I'm trying to describe is not a high opinion of my dignity in a conceited sense. I guess it's more of a stubbornness. Sometimes I'm not very good at keeping up with friendships, because I want the other person to make the first move. I don't want to have to be the one to start conversation.
Sometimes I don't want to rely on people. I don't want to admit that I'm weak and I miss people. Sometimes I wish I could do it all alone without needing anyone else. All-powerful in a certain sense. Sometimes, because I've been hurt, I'm afraid to trust. Sometimes I crave certain friendships. And then when they're not there, I don't know what to do. I miss that person horribly, there's a deep ache in my heart, but again...I'm too stubborn to make the first move. I guess it is pride.
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